I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
