I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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