i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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