I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
