All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
