Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
