dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
