Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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