So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
