and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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