love makes seman taste better
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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