ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
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you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.