I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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