I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
