it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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