She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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