Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
