i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
