Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
