a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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