piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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