Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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