I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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