It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
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He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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