if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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