Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
