he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
