I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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