I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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