dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
