it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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