is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
