we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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