when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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