if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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