It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
