You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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