Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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