Umm I'm too high to move.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
