I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
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yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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