Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize