I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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