I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
