i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
These tits shall not be calmed
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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