thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
