Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize