butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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