i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
