And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
