I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
