Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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