you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
