Your tits are I can't wait for
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
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it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
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I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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