Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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