Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize