one might say we're banned from that church
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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