Jerry, you need to find god
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
