apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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