so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
