next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i now understand why vodka
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize