'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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