Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
