Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
