my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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